Getting Started

I recently read somewhere that the closest we ever are to our "true selves" is when we are ten years old. At this age, we are supposedly old enough to know who we are without becoming addled by the hormones of puberty, the pressures of real life and the self-destructive forces of ego.

If you had asked my shy and geeky eight, nine or ten-year old self what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have asserted "Author-illustrator!" with no hesitation. I didn't want to just read the books, I wanted to create them! With the focus of a child who doesn't waste time dwelling, but just acts on impulses, I would write, paint and draw whatever I felt like. Writing was not so much a hobby, more something I just did; it flowed through me like chi.

Of course, then I grew up, spent my energy carving a social life out of nothing and getting good grades... and learned to think too much.

The most interesting part is how good I was, once, when I didn't think about it. When I find those old notebooks I used to jot and doodle in when I was a nerdy kid, I feel as though I've struck gold. How sad that I was a better writer when I didn't even know what a "transition" was! Of course, this has everything to do with passion. Real life can beat that out of you, if you let it happen.

And so, after years of mulling over which ultimately unsatisfying adult occupation to devote my life to, I have decided to give my old dreams a chance. Yet this adult self merely smiles fondly at the inner child, gently chuckling at her naivete. "How exactly do you plan to support yourself?" she chides. "And what will your family think if you fail?"

What happens next? Nothing.

******

I have considered the arguments of my procrastination demons:

"You need to seriously think about how to achieve your goals."
"You have no skills. You have so much to learn."
"Tomorrow is another day."
"But this bed is sooo comfy!"

...and have decided to reject them.

I have spent the last couple of years of my life wonderfully organized, proactive and professional in the workplace and so extraordinarily disorganized, passive and lazy in my personal agenda. If I don't adopt some kind of policing method to teach myself discipline, I stand to lose not only time, but dreams, as well.

This blog will serve as my sounding board and my controller. I am its bitch, if you will.

I'll start by defining my long-term goals:

* Write fiction.
* Submit non-fiction for publication.
* Create my website.
* Find a full-time or part-time job worthy of my talents and education.
* Work on creative hobbies I usually ignore.

Next, a few short-term tasks to move in the right direction:

1) First, focus on writing some articles for publications. This will help me improve my writing skills, boost my confidence and build my portfolio all at the same time! For this, write whatever interests me / peruse publications for submissions / research the best practices for freelance writers / network.

2) Blog.

3) Keep jotting down ideas for novels and short stories. In February, begin working on the worksheets I acquired on how to write a novel in 30 days. This will at least give me some drive and direction!

Now, action!