You Are Your Own Sensei

Need help figuring out what to do with the rest of your life? Looking for someone to enlighten you?

You can go to your family. After all, they want what's best for you, right? Well, they want what they perceive as being best for you, which may not be good for you at all. (I'm pretty sure I would have hated being a dermatologist.)

You can ask your friends. But really, do they know any more about life than you do?

You can even pay for advice. But if you had a pot o' gold sitting around, I bet you wouldn't need a career counselor.

Inevitably, your search will come back to you.



Only you can choose your path, grasshopper.

A couple of years ago I decided I needed professional career help. I scoured a list of local psychologists and counselors who might suit my needs (and slim budget). When I finally decided on one, a middle-aged counselor with "career counseling" on her list of "specializations," I took a deep breath and gave her a call.

"Hi there, I'm interested in career counseling and found your name in a local database - "

"That's great. I can do that. What is your Myers Briggs personality type?" Whoa, dude, slow your roll. This woman didn't even know my name, and she was already trying to squeeze me into a box?

"INFP," I replied. "I mean, that's what the results of that test were, but - "

"Hmm, as an INFP, your profile is yadda yadda recitingtextbookjargon blah blah. Sure, I think I can help you."

"I don't think this is for me," I said, and bid her adieu.

That conversation taught me something crucial. I realized that what I had been yearning for was a wise man, a cunning sensei to guide me on the path to glory. A quick and easy answer to all my problems.

That day, I discovered that no one can tell me who I am.

No one can give me the advice I want to hear. Not Myers or Briggs. Not my mother, not my friends, not my cousin's-uncle's-girlfriend's-roommate. None of them has shed tears over self-help books or begged Google for answers with me at 2 a.m. No one is inside my head or my heart to know what I want out of life. No one knows me as well as I do.

You have all the answers. The hard part is sifting through the garbage of other people's opinions and boxes to find them.