The Family Shtick

Are you familiar with the family reunion blues? Everyone has a reason to dread intimate family gatherings. My mother, for instance, just crosses her fingers and prays my drunken grandfather and uncle don't decide to pull out a shotgun and start aiming at raccoons. My personal elephant in the room is the topic of my job.

I admit I've been a little all over the place when it comes to my career (That's the understatement of the year, my smart-ass 12-year old self would have smirked). I bounce around different projects, all the while trying to find the one that will grab my attention and keep it permanently.

Most people don't get this philosophy of trying things out to see how they fit. To my family, a "career" is a tenure-track position you get straight out of college, preferably at a mega-corporation that offers great benefits. My 90-year old (paternal) grandfather, a former engineer for Lockheed Martin, recently sat me down and very seriously told me that I need to look for a position as "a secretary for some executive at a company that does international business and all that." I'm choosing not to take the secretary suggestion personally.

I will admit I haven't been the most diligent in my job search for the past few weeks. Ok, so I've applied to two jobs in a month. Don't judge me. Through the holidays and the multiple birthday party month of January, my magazine editor shtick has eroded. My response to the dreaded question - "So Brooke, what are you doing with yourself these days?" - now pretty much comes out as a tiny little ant-sized squeak.

Thanksgiving: "I'm interning at a magazine. Loving every minute! Productive! Busy busy!" Accompanied by song, dance, shining eyes, big band.

Christmas: "Well, the internship is over. I will totally find an editor position soon. After the holidays. For sure."

Mid-January birthday bash: "Um, yeah, totally looking for a job. Wow, this cheese dip is faaaaabulous!"

Well-meaning relatives have so many suggestions. "So you want to be an editor now?" (Did I imagine that hint of an eye roll, or am I just paranoid?) "Where are you looking? Have you tried National Geographic?" 

Yes, actually, National Geographic and Vogue and Time are all banging down my door, begging for me to please accept the lowly chore of being their new editor-in-chief. I had to turn them down to accept the position of Dean of Harvard. Before I run for president.

Perhaps I should be encouraged by my family's faith in me. So why am I hiding out, pretending to be out of the country for the next decade?